greensleeves.blogspot.com

2002-10-26T19:37:00.000-04:00

Two months on the job...

Have I mentioned I like my job? It's amazing to me. I grew up dreading the day I'd have to work since I'd always thought "work" was something bad. You weren't supposed to like your job. So I worried all through college about what I'd do -- no matter what, I wouldn't be completely happy. Of course, I'm not always happy at my job. But most of the time I enjoy myself. Two months and it hasn't gotten boring and the people I work with haven't gotten on my nerves (too much) or come to believe that I'm a complete idiot. It's completely possible that I'm lucky as all hell and mangaed to fall into a job in a lab that fits me perfectly, but I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that research is a good choice for me. Which means I will be applying to graduate school. Unless I decide to go to medical school again. Any opinions from grad students and/or med students? I don't know what to do with myself.

I've even started making Californian friends. The funny thing is that they're just about all male. I've never been really good at having male friends. It was easier for me to have girlfriends in high school and avoid the whole sex issue, but I've just seemed to slip into having guy friends here. And they're fun. I've really been missing out all these years.

2002-10-12T02:19:00.000-04:00

My Computer Hiatus

Is that the correct usage of "hiatus"? I worry about using words like that. I'm always afraid that I'll use them wrong and come off like a huge jerk.

I haven't been using computers as much as I have in the past. Obviously. I work all day and come home and really have no energy to sign on and post or even check my email. I've gone a week without checking since I started work. Amazing, right? Seeing as I checked my email obsessively in college. I guess I still would except that I've been told not to check my personal email at work. university spies or something I guess. And my UCLA email really isn't that interesting. "Pulmonary Grand Rounds" and "UCLA Media Report" don't make for enthralling subject lines.

Speaking of UCLA, work is going well. I'm not as helpless as I was a month ago and they've started giving me things to do on my own. Like genotype the mice. And transform bacteria. I'm sure it sounds real exciting, but honestly I'm learning so many useful things. Working in this lab is definitely going to prove worthwhile. Even if it doesn't pay as well as I'd like. Granted, it pays pretty well, but with taxes and rent, it can get a little tight. Isn't it amazing what the government deems an acceptable amount to steal out of my paycheck every month? Just because I'm single with no dependents doesn't mean I don't deserve that large chunk of cash every month. It's just a little bit frustrating.

I went on my first date since I've been in LA last Thursday. We went to a jazz concert and then took a walk around UCLA. It was really a great date and I had a lot of fun, but I have my doubts about this guy. He seems a little flaky and... young. He's my age, but he's still an undergrad and acts like one. I'm not sure how to go about meeting people here. I suppose I could go to bars, but my roommate never seems to want to go out to places like that. I guess I'll have to start reaching out to my other LA connections. I did meet a guy on the bus but I have a sneaking suspicion he's gay. Which is really just too bad. A cute law student from San Francisco. Bah. I'd better get myself out there soon though. I'm going stir crazy at home and in coffee shops.

2002-08-26T22:40:00.000-04:00

Long time no see...

I know, I know. It's been way too long since I last posted. At first I had too little to say, and lately I've had too much. I'm moved in. I've got to get pictures to hang and find a table to put my computer on, but all the essentials are here. I've got a job. I start work tomorrow in a lab at UCLA. My mother visited this weekend and I feel homesick for the first time since I moved. My roommate also just dropped the news that she is thinking of leaving LA next year with her brother to go to grad school at Harvard. I'm going to skip right over that because I have so much I can say about it. And none of it good.

I talked to my mom while she was out this weekend and I think she knows exactly what's going on with my newly discovered homesickness. I'm just still not settled. I haven't built up a group of friends yet and I haven't gotten into a routine so I'm not completely comfortable. For this year at least I have Sara, and my cousin Jess who just moved here, and possibly a girl from my high school. And there are people I've met through Sara and another friend who'll be going back east for school in a week. What I have to do is suck up my timidity and call these people.

Do you know what I hate?

When I'm making a tape and it runs out before my CD does...

2002-07-30T13:45:00.000-04:00

My First Experience in Downtown L.A.

Last night Sara, me and a bunch of Sara's friends went to a bar called the Standard downtown. That's the first time I've been downtown since I moved (not surprising, since it's only been about four days). The buildings were your typical high rises but they seemed a little more interesting and maybe even whimsical compared to the skyscrapers in NYC. Maybe I romanticized them because I was so happy to be where I was. This bar is great. There's no cover during the week and no one forces you to buy drinks -- which is good since I'm unemployed and the bank is still clearing my out of state check. We all sat in this little circular water bed until two of our group decided to strip to their underwear and go swimming in the "clothing optional" pool. I suppose that's all I really have to say for you to get the picture, right? It was a lot of fun and I hope I can go back sometime soon. Maybe when I have enough money to buy a drink. :)

The Status of the Move

I'm settling into L.A. relatively well I think. I'm having a great time and I feel completely comfortable here. We've found an apartment and with any luck we'll move in this weekend. I'm still trying to find a job, but I have high hopes and confidence that I'll stumble upon one soon. And my car could be here the end of the week! Then I can start learning how to navigate this place.

2002-07-26T15:11:00.000-04:00

It was apparently not a good day to travel...

A little bit of advice -- never leave your packing to the last minute. Especially when you're moving to California. I was finishing my packing about half an hour before I had to leave for the airport and it was so stressful. Don't do it. Then of course, when I get to the airport I have an overweight bag to pay for (and that was a hassle) and I was "randomly selected" for security checks. Which means they go through your bags (I had three bags big enough to fit people in, the security people were not happy) and they check you all the time. So I was wanded, patted down and told to take off my shoes about three times. And that was just in Newark. On top of all this, my flight to Phoenix was put off until about 5 hours later because one of the navigation controls was broken and the airline didn't have the part in stock. Luckily, I was put on another flight to Phoenix with a connection to Los Angeles that left two hours later. Unfortunately, when I finally arrived in L.A. at 11 pm West Coast time (but about 2 am my time) we discovered that my bags had not gotten on that other flight to Phoenix with me. So I spent a day and a half without any of my clothes. Thankfully, Sara's the same shirt size as I am so I borrowed one of hers for the day. Let me tell you, it's really very fun to call the baggage claim people to ask where your bags are and when they're going to get to you and the people tell you that they have no idea where your bags are. I was very very frustrated. And then Sara thought she broke her foot. So we spent a couple hours last night in an emergency room. That's when I found out that they had my bags and were dropping them off that night. So now I have clothes! It's such a relief. If I've been completely incoherent, I apologize. I'm a little overwhelmed because of my Move. But I love California so far!

2002-07-24T08:31:00.000-04:00

Waking up suddenly, thinking you've overslept and will not be able to pack or that you've missed your plane (although I doubt I could really sleep that late) is not pleasant. And that nervous, tumbling stomach feeling isn't really conducive to breakfast. But I toughed it out and ate breakfast anyway. Geez. I can't believe I'm so nervous about moving! But I talked to Sara last night and she's really excited and I'm really excited and we're going to have a great time. I just have to get there and get settled. I'm always nervous when I know I'm not going to be settled for a while in an unfamiliar place. That's also the part I'm so excited about though. If you told me four years ago that I'd be picking up and moving across the country with no apartment or job already lined up, I'd have told you to check yourself into the looney bin. Isn't it amazing how much a person can change in four years? Anyway, enough rambling aimlessly, I've got to get to the bank and CVS. And finish packing. Yeah, that too.

2002-07-23T22:43:00.000-04:00

About "Greensleeves"

Has anyone wondered why my site is "greensleeves" at blogspot? You curious people you! "Greensleeves" was one of my signature carillon pieces in college. No one else played it, even though in my opinion it was one of the more beautiful pieces we had. Ever heard it? Here, listen. It makes me a little nervous that someone has devoted an entire website to "Greensleeves" but hey. It takes all kinds. By the way, while we're talking about carillon music, if you've used my link to the Guild of Carillonneurs in North America (GCNA) take a look at the first picture on the right. That's my college's carillon. I miss playing the carillon so much. There aren't any in Los Angeles, which is very sad. I had just gotten completely comfortable playing concerts and discovered how wonderful it is to arrange music for the carillon (I arranged "Danny Boy" for my senior advancement recital) and then I graduated. I'll miss it so much!

Well, it's time for me to finish off my packing. Wish me luck!

2002-07-23T12:28:00.000-04:00

Not so much panic and more excitement

Well, I got an enormous bag packed yesterday (and then nearly died of heat exhaustion) and I have most of the stuff I need to pack laid out. As soon as I post this I'm going to try to pack up the stuff I want shipped, like books and movies and photo albums and things like that. Hopefully I can leave those here and when Sara and I find an apartment, someone can ship them over. I figure there's really no point in having all those books and things with no place to really put them, right?

Hmm. I don't think I have anything else to say. Except that I'm so excited about moving. I'm pretty sure I'll be homesick after maybe a week in Los Angeles, but that always happens when I go to a new place and all my favorite, familiar places are no where to be seen. Like Panera, and my Barnes and Noble/Starbucks, the Y and my friends. I talked to my best friend from high school last night on AIM. We separated eight years ago when she went to Virginia for college and I went to Boston. And really, we haven't seen much of each other since. It's kind of sad. My plans for next year originally involved either Maryland or Atlanta and she was so excited that we could be so much closer. Too bad I screwed that up by moving much much further away! Oh well. This is why my cell phone plan has free long distance. It's so hard to keep in touch with people when you're all scattered around the country.

2002-07-22T10:42:00.000-04:00

Panic Attack

Today is Monday, 22 July. I am flying to California Wednesday, 24 July. I have not finished packing. I am not really all that close to finishing packing. I am screwed. But I will be in Los Angeles Wednesday night come hell or high water!

2002-07-21T19:41:00.000-04:00

Anyone else catch the Yanks/Sox game today? If you didn't you really missed out. Weaver screwed up royally and gave up five homeruns, tying the Yankee record that hadn't been broken in about thirty years. But we still won. And that's why I love my team!

2002-07-21T01:24:00.000-04:00

Something new every day...

Did you know that you can get your eyelashes dyed? I overheard some woman tell her friend "That's where I used to get my eyelashes dyed" the other day when I was shopping. Weird, huh? It sounds kind of dangerous.

My Dad the Singer

My dad was in a musical production tonight that benefited our town's library. It was a revue (is that the right word?) that included songs from several musicals that were based on books or plays. For instance, South Pacific, The Secret Garden (I have to say that "Lily's Eyes" is one of the most moving songs I have ever heard on a stage), and My Fair Lady. He was actually pretty good as were the rest of the cast members. I always get incredibly jealous when people with beautiful voices perform. My voice is awful and I've always wished I could sing. In any case, it was one of those events in which you discover a side of one of your parents that you'd never seen before. A few of his and my stepmother's friends came to see the show as well and everyone was raving about the performances. You could tell my stepmother was incredibly proud of my dad and he was so happy to have been a part of it. The last time he's mentioned playing a part in a stage production was when he told me about playing Nicely-Nicely Johnson in his summer camp's production of Guys and Dolls (It was an all-boys camp, by the way. An interesting choice don't you think?). He must have been about 13. Isn't it wonderful that he's been able to come back to something he loved?

Along those lines, it's really great to see him so happy now. He and my mother separated when I was a sophomore in high school and at that time he was absolutely miserable. Since then he's remarried and resettled himself and has completely changed his life. It reminds me that it's never too late to be happy. Something like the message I take away from Austen's Persuasion, since all wisdom comes from Jane. In Persuasion I learned that you can make a mistake in love, but if it was truly meant to be, then it will be. Anne lost Captain Wentworth, but given time (and a lot of it), they found each other. My father found love after his marriage fell apart.

There's hope for us all, which is an extremely reassuring thought!

2002-07-20T14:50:00.000-04:00

By the way,

This lack of love cannot continue. I may have to remove my comments tag in order to regain my self esteem.

2002-07-20T14:48:00.000-04:00

The Sweet Sound of Success

I made my first CD today. I've copied CDs before but I've never put one together myself amazingly enough. But my John Mayer obsession just couldn't live with only one CD so I downloaded some more Mayer, including some lovely little live bits with him talking in between the songs. And now I have my very own personalized CD. Isn't technology beautiful?

2002-07-19T23:35:00.000-04:00

The Move Update

We've found a company to ship my car safely (hopefully) across the country. If you've ever shipped an automobile, you too will know that it costs an arm and a leg. And really, I only have two of each so I don't particularly like giving any of my limbs to anyone. It will also take one to two weeks for Rosie, my poor little Toyota Corolla, to get to Los Angeles. This will be one to two weeks after I have already gotten there. Which will make my initial job search very interesting. Let's just hope it leans toward one week rather than two.

New Reading Material

I went to Barnes and Noble last night to pick up something new to read. I bought The Bourne Supremacy since I recently read The Bourne Identity after seeing the movie. By the way, if you've seen the movie and thought the plot did not transfer and that the characters were a little wacky, never fear. Read the book. It's MUCH better, motives and plot lines are clearer, and I really thought the story was better. Anyway. Not only did I buy the next in the Bourne series, I also bought a book I've been meaning to buy for a while -- The Three Musketeers. (Yes, I'm going link-crazy tonight) I'm not very far into it at all, but I like it a lot so far. Lots of sword fights and honor and things like that. Right up my alley. Speaking of which, I'm going to get back to D'Artagnan, Athos, Porthos and Aramis. Lovable fellows that they are.

2002-07-19T13:15:00.000-04:00

I don't have a lot to say right now, just that it's damned hot. I want to move to Alaska.

2002-07-18T11:33:00.000-04:00

A Real Grownup Bed

I made the mistake yesterday of falling asleep after dinner at about 7.30 and not waking up again until 10.30. I used to take long naps between lunch and dinner in college, but after-dinner naps are really not a good idea. So at about 1.00 am I'm lying awake in bed trying to put myself to sleep and all of a sudden I get inundated with all these awful thoughts about moving. What if we can't find an apartment with decent rent in a decent neighborhood that's not on the first floor next to a dark alley? What if I don't have enough money to pay my share? What if I don't find a job (which goes along with that second question)? What if I can't afford to buy a bed? This last one really got to me. I need a bed. I've been looking forward to my first non-twin sized bed. I'm planning on doing a lot of rolling from one end to the other just to prove that I can roll over more than once without ending up on the floor. Having the bed is going to be very exciting and I can't wait, but paying for the bed is a problem. Or at least I anticipate it being a problem. Needless to say, these thoughts kept me awake for a very long time. And then I had some awful dream about combating evil in what was either a fabric store or a bakery. Don't ask. I know everything will work out just fine and that I'm going to love my apartment, find a bed I can afford, and manage to not kill my roommate or vice versa. And then it's just a matter of finding a job. That still worries me. Maybe if I don't think about it everything will work out.

2002-07-17T01:00:00.000-04:00

The Move

Not only is "move" capitalized because it's in the title of this post, but also because of the sheer enormity of my moving to California. I have never lived anywhere but on the eastern seaboard. New York, New Jersey, Boston. And now Los Angeles. It's amazing to think that a week from now (give or take a day or two) I'm going to be living in the land of sunshine and palm trees. Where it takes 20 minutes to get anywhere and you live in your car. I'm going to be living on my own with my best friend from college (and possibly her boyfriend if he finds a job for the summer...) and be more or less independent in a way I wasn't in college since everyone always lived on campus. It's going to be a complete change for me. I think that's a good thing. I figured out a lot about myself in college and I feel weird coming back home knowing how much has happened since I left. I need a new place and new faces. And really, you can't get any further from New Jersey than Los Angeles. I'll stop writing now so I can get back to quivering with excitement.

2002-07-15T21:07:00.000-04:00

I've just finished The Virgin in the Garden and don't quite know what to make of it. I do think I want to read the other two books that follow it, but I also think I liked Possession better...

2002-07-15T19:04:00.000-04:00

Tunafish Memories

When I was a kid, my tunafish always had mayonnaise in it, but never celery bits. I hated celery bits. I've learned to deal with them but back then they were an enormous problem. In high school I always made my own lunch and every once in a while I'd switch from the usual turkey to tuna. I remember opening the can, squeezing the water into the sink and then smashing up the fish with a fork. Then I'd push it out into a bowl and add a couple forkfuls of mayonnaise to it, very carefully avoiding contaminating the mayo with fish bits. After I mixed it all up, I'd pat it down onto a slice of wheat bread, saran wrap the rest in the bowl and stick it in the fridge for the next day's lunch. One can of tuna fish could make precisely 2.5 sandwiches. For me, tuna sandwiches were a perfected artform.

In college I became aware of the evils of mayonnaise, so I started eating my tuna plain. Often straight out of the can after draining. I put tuna on my salads when I was abroad in Scotland. With a little all spice it could make a great dinner when I spent the summer doing research at school.

Tonight I just had my first tuna sandwich in a long time, which is what brought on all my tunafish memories. My step mother makes it with mayonnaise and sweet pickle relish. I would never have thought of putting sweet pickle relish in my tuna, but I'm a complete convert. Although for simplicity's sake I think I'll probably go back to my old habit of eating it straight from the can. Somewhere along the line I seem to have lost my love of the step-by-step tuna sandwich making process that I developed when I was 14.

2002-07-14T23:52:00.000-04:00

Driving

I think I'm breaking the record for the number of times a person can post in one day but what the hell. Now you all know how little I get out. But that'll all change in a month, never fear.

Do you love driving? I love driving. Windows down, wind in my hair, radio on and singing... Or I hook my CD player up (I think I'm the only person I know whose car doesn't have a CD player) so that I'm not at the mercy of the radio stations. I have to pick my mother up at the airport tonight -- about a 20 minute drive -- at around 12.30. Normally I'd be bitching about this just a little since I'm usually curled up watching TV or reading at 12.30 but tonight I'm almost looking forward to it. I plan on putting John Mayer in the CD player and singing the entire way. I won't be able to do this on the way back since my mom'll be in the car with me, but just think of how great that drive to the airport is going to be! Dark and cool, great music playing and I'm all by myself on the highway. It's going to be 20 minutes of pure pleasure and goosebumps.

I've already mentioned that I tend to sing in the car. I should add the fact that I have a god awful voice and that sometimes I dance around in my seat. I especially dance on long car rides -- like when I used to drive to school. I've gotten more than one strange looks because of this, and a truck driver has honked at me. Not that my dancing was risque in any way, it's more of a bopping and swaying. Anyway, before I ramble on too much, there is a point in me sharing this embarrassing fact with you all. I'm wondering if anyone else dances in the car? No one I know seems to. Or at least they don't admit to it.

2002-07-14T20:30:00.000-04:00

I've just finished Ex-Libris. It was an interesting book and I definitely didn't understand the entire story until the very end, but I'm not sure I'd recommend it. I think Possession by A.S. Byatt is much more worthwhile. So go read that instead!

2002-07-14T15:54:00.000-04:00

Discovery of the Day

My dog loves Cheerios. We're not talking a casual "yeah sure, I'll eat that" kind of relationship. More like the "ohmigosh! throw me another one!" kind. Now, I don't normally feed the dog breakfast cereal but I was having a snack (and dry Cheerios make a great snack) and I happened to drop one on the deck. My philosophy with dropped food is that since I really shouldn't eat it and the dog tends to eat things off the ground anyway, why not draw his attention to it and see what happens? So I pointed to it and he gobbled that thing up, crunching the tiny O with great satisfaction. That didn't surprise me. He'll eat anything anyone drops no matter where it's fallen. But I didn't expect him to really like it. Just to eat it and move on. Instead he stood there staring at me, well, really staring at my bowl of Cheerios, with his ears perked to full attention waiting for the next hand out. An interesting reaction since he doesn't usually get that excited about anything but meat. Of course, I obliged with a Cheerio every once in a while (I even gave him the last one) and he just loved them. He'd crunch it up and then come right back to my chair, practically leaning on my legs. Now who wouldn't adore an animal who gets that excited about Cheerios?

2002-07-13T19:47:00.000-04:00

Downer

My happy dance complete, I have realized that now I have to get my act together. I have to move in TEN DAYS. But nothing is impossible. Right?

2002-07-13T16:43:00.000-04:00

HAPPY DANCE IN PROGRESS

I just booked my flight to California. I am so excited, no one could possibly understand. No, that's probably not true. I'm sure someone else out there has planned a major change in their life and has seen it come to fruition. I feel like celebrating! In fact I did a celebratory dance in the kitchen after I got off the phone with the airline. The dog was staring at me, probably thinking "well, she's finally lost it." You know that look -- your pet is staring at you in disbelief and you just know they're questioning how humans got to be the dominant species. Now of course I have to pack up my life and ship it across the country which is no little task, as you'd know if you've ever seen the number of books I consider necessary for existence.

2002-07-13T15:17:00.000-04:00

A dependency on Q-Tips

I had a roommate in college, Meg, whose sister was just starting out in med school the year we lived together. Meg told us once that according to her doctor-in-training sister, people who use Q-Tips (or whatever brand of cotton swab you choose to clean your ears with) every day don't really have to. In fact, since that junk in your ear is mostly naturally occuring, why not just leave it where it belongs and clean your ears once every week instead of daily. I remember trying to go for a whole week without cleaning my ears and not making it past two days. That feeling of water in my ears after I showered was just too much for me to take. It's sad to think that my comfort level is that low isn't it?

2002-07-12T23:15:00.000-04:00

Ideas are most welcome...

I need a new title. If anyone has any ideas, please use the comment thing.

An old friend of mine from high school (incidentally, not the one I met up with last night) who hasn't seen me in a long time has been bugging me to scan a picture of myself and send it to him. So today I got out my huge shoebox full of pictures. We're talking four years of photos since I'm really bad at putting pictures in albums. So I figured what the hell, and bought a photo album and set to work organizing the last four years of my life. The first two years of college weren't too hard -- apparently I just didn't take all that many pictures. That's something I'm sure to regret later on. I'm in the middle of the fall of my junior year right now. That's the semester I spent abroad in Scotland. I took two trips outside of Scotland during those four months -- one to southern Ireland and another to Italy. I believe I've just finished putting Florence into the album and am currently organizing Rome. It's amazing to go through all those pictures and remember how my days were spent on those trips. Some of my Irish postcards had little notes written on the back about what I'd done and who I'd talked to. I realized how much I missed travelling. My Italy pictures are even worse. Gorgeous shots of the Grand Canal in Venice, the Ponte Vecchio in Florence and St Peter's in Rome. And the two women I travelled with! They were absolutely hilarious and we spent most of our time laughing when we weren't trying to figure out exactly where we were and where we needed to go. I remember how easy that trip was. We bought our tickets to Venice and then return tickets from Naples to Edinburgh. And we spent as little or as much time in each of the three cities as we felt was necessary. It was glorious. There were no schedules to follow and we met some great people in the hostels we stayed in. All of my pictures reminded me of all the fun I had and how much I want to travel again. Maybe see Germany and Switzerland. Anyone else up for a little backpacking?

2002-07-12T00:16:00.000-04:00

Ah reunions

I just got back from seeing a friend from high school who I hadn't seen in about three years. We'd talked randomly online and maybe once on the phone during those three years but had never been in each other's physical presence. It's great to see people like that again after so long. I laughed just as hard as I used to when he told his stories and had as good a time as I remember having with my high school friends. It makes me realize that I couldn't have been as much of a social reject in high school as I remember being if I laughed that hard with my friends back then. Rather reassuring isn't it? And here I thought, "Thank God for college. I've become a little bit closer to being socially acceptable," when really I wasn't starting from complete ineptitude. Or at least I hope I wasn't. Wow, I probably shouldn't have written that, since now anyone who reads it will think I'm some kind of freak. I'm not really. But I was incredibly shy through high school. I'm still shy but not incredibly so. That's probably why communicating through the internet appeals to me so much. Is that generally true do you think? It makes sense that talking over computers would appeal to shy people. No eye contact, no worrying about what you look like, plenty of time to formulate responses... In the case of a blog it's completely anonymous. I leave my little meaningless thoughts and if someone wanders by and reads it, so be it. But if not, they just kind of hang in cyber space waiting around. It's almost a little sad isn't it?

2002-07-11T17:26:00.000-04:00

There's a guy whose blog is titled "Speaking Natalie." I'm assuming he got the phrase from the Charlie's Angels movie (which by the way I love!). My friends thought it was hilarious when Lucy Liu referred to Luke Wilson as a guy who "speaks Natalie" -- after he managed to have a convoluted conversation with Cameron Diaz's character, Natalie -- because we often joke that a person has to know me pretty well to understand what the hell I'm trying to say sometimes. So now whenever I make an extraordinarily garbled statement (a frequent occurance) and say "well... you know what I mean, right?" they can simply say "Yeah. I speak Natalie."

2002-07-11T13:35:00.000-04:00

The Big Green Monster

Yes boys and girls, that's envy. I talked to Sara last night and she was telling me all about how wonderful her boyfriend is. Now farbeit for me to resent her boyfriend but every once in a while (or maybe a little more often than that) I get really jealous of all those happy people who are lucky enough to be half a couple. Sara's not going to be quite so happy at the end of the summer when her boyfriend goes back to school on the East Coast, but right now she's got him close enough to see on the weekends and talk to on the phone just about every day. I'm very happy for her really, and I love the guy, but I wish I had one of my own. Independence and self-sufficiency are all well and good but sometimes I want to be somewhat dependent upon another person. I'm going to stop now before I let myself get too caught up in this.

2002-07-10T23:16:00.000-04:00

Mmm. Starbucks.

You know, I really do understand where people are coming from when they say that Barnes & Noble and Starbucks are evil and that we should all be buying our books from people like Kathleen Kelly in You've Got Mail and our coffee from little independently owned coffee shops. But you know, there are just SO MANY books at B&N. And they're cheap (when you're unemployed this matters a great deal). As far as Starbucks is concerned, I just had a Tazoberry iced tea. Forgive me if I worship Tazoberry teas as though they constituted another god in the Greek Pantheon. (Forgive me if "pantheon" is the wrong term. I did not study classical mythology seriously.) What really gets me is that there are Barnes and Nobles with Starbucks attached. I go so often to study and read that I'm surprised the guy at the Starbucks counter doesn't know me by now. Despite my reliance on the convenience of having B&N and Starbucks in one quick stop, I'm still very open to the idea of finding my own little bookshop and cafe where there aren't as many people and I can get to know the staff (or be on the staff if this unemployment thing doesn't get cleared up). Who knew a Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movie could make me feel guilty about my literature and caffeine habits? Hopefully when I move (end of this month with any luck!) I'll be able to find some independent booksellers and caffeine pushers to befriend.

2002-07-10T12:31:00.000-04:00

Comments!

I just added a little comment box to the blog. Don't laugh when you see how strange all the colors and fonts are. The fact that it's vaguely the same color scheme as the rest of the page is a miracle and my brain is too fried now to go back and try to fix it up. I'm beginning to wish I'd taken a computer science class. But hey, all that medieval history will be just as useful, right? Now that a comment box exists, those few random souls who venture over to this page really should try it just so I know I didn't screw something up somewhere. And that's my shameless plea for feedback and love.

2002-07-09T18:49:00.000-04:00

Playing music from movies is almost a little creepy. Here's where I have to admit that (*gasp*) I'm a Jane Austen fan. Well, maybe fan is too weak a word. I'm obsessed, a Jane-ite in the truest sense. Less so than in previous years, but the obsession still burns. So naturally I have a book of piano solos compiled from several of the movie adaptations of Austen's novels. I have to say that playing the song Marianne plays in the Emma Thompson Sense and Sensibility -- the one described (and titled) as "My Father's Favourite" -- is a little weird. It brings that scene right back and I almost expect to turn into Kate Winslet with Emma and Hugh standing in the doorway passing the hankie. Maybe I'm not quite that psychotic, but the thought did occur to me. Any other Austen fanatics out there? Take a peek at the Republic of Pemberley.

2002-07-08T23:09:00.000-04:00

My musical love affair

Mmm. I love John Mayer. I love his lyrics and I love his voice. I listened to his cd nonstop during reading period, finals and my trip to Salt Lake City in May (ASM conference). And I'm still listening to that same cd. I'm not usually this faithful. He's just got a voice that you can listen to for hours on end without even paying attention to what he's saying. And I can relate to what he's saying as well. I even had this one really emotional night during which I wrote a poem while listening to the cd. I'm debating posting it or not, but even though I know no one reads this it's still very public and I'm always really hesistant to show people my poetry. I'm not a fan of ridicule I suppose. Anyway, I just thought I'd share my current musical love with you.

2002-07-08T15:53:00.000-04:00

America's issues with food

I spotted a copy of the New York Times Magazine on the kitchen counter this morning and lo and behold another article on losing weight -- specifically the debate between which is better, a low fat diet or a low carbohydrate diet. I don't pretend to be any kind of expert in this area, just another 20 year old woman attempting to get and keep a great body (the get is the tricky part in my case) but honestly, shouldn't we all just strive for a balanced diet? Don't cut out anything, just try to keep it all moderate and substitute fruits and veggies for the cake and all that. And exercise. That's my theory. There's no miracle diet it's just a matter of portion control, learning to love crunchy green things and getting some exercise.

2002-07-07T21:28:00.000-04:00

Pool party!

Jen's pool party went (is still going, for some of them) well. I'm really tired so I came on inside, changed out of my bathing suit and stuck the computer IV back into my wrist. Had a nice swim, helped make some fantastic burgers, sampled a great pina colada and generally exhausted myself. I got several compliments on my bathing suit as well, which is nice since it's new. Although I'm still not sure about the "Oh it's so... retro! It reminds me of Daphne in Scooby Doo!" comment. Mind you, the bathing suit isn't purple, so I'm not exactly Daphne (nor do I have red hair) but the retro part fit. Interesting how all the advertising for the Scooby Doo movie has worked so well. I mean, if the first thing someone thinks when they see a "retro" bathing suit is -- Daphne from Scooby Doo! -- then someone out there is doing a damned good publicity job.

2002-07-07T12:05:00.000-04:00

A little insight into me

Am I rude or what? All this posting and no introduction! "Hello, my name is Natalie. How are you?" I'm in a little bit of an odd mood this morning, so bear with me while I give you all a clue as to who I am.

Age: 21
State: NJ (soon to be CA)
Hobbies: reading, music, studying for the GRE...
Job: working on that
Goals: get a Ph.D., do biological research
Education: B.A. in biology (as you must have guessed from my goals)
Toenail Color: "Amethyst Frost" I don't get this one though -- it's a metallic dark pink kind of color. Isn't an amethyst a purple stone?
In my CD player right now: Barenaked Ladies Greatest Hits Volume One

Of course, there's more to me than that. I am after all a complicated, modern woman!

Back to your regularly scheduled program

And now onto my thoughts for the morning:

Jen's over for a while. She's throwing a party (a pool party I believe) for a bunch of her friends, many of whom are also friends (or at least acquaintances) of mine from high school. Two of her friends from her year abroad in Spain stayed the night last night and after I got back from B&N I sat outside with them. I've met Steve and Ruthie before and I liked them then as I still do. They're the kind of people who immediately include you and make you feel welcome as soon as you sit down. They're both very sweet and completely insane. But I don't count myself among the sane most of the time (nor would the people who know me) so insanity, especially when it's harmless as it is in their cases, can be a good thing. We'll see how this party goes though. Several of the people coming over I'm relatively good friends with, including the girl who was the year ahead of me at our college. But there are a couple people coming who I don't really like all that much. There won't be any bloodshed, but it should prove interesting.

2002-07-07T00:12:00.000-04:00

I spent another couple hours at the cafe in my Barnes and Noble tonight doing GRE review. I finished off the first practice test and scored it. I did SO much worse than I thought I would. It wasn't very encouraging. But hey. All I need to do is get used to the questions and the format and brush up on my algebra right? Let's hope so. I need to do a little vocabulary work too. There are some scary words out there. And they all seem to end up in the GRE. You'd think that since I read so much I'd have a better than decent vocabulary but I seem to be able to recognize most of the words in the tests, but I can't define them when they're out of context. But hey, at least they're familiar, right? That's what I tell myself.

I've been searching for plane tickets and so far I've gotten down to $335 or about $250 if I leave after the 19th. Now I've got to see how much shipping my car is going to set me back. I have my fingers crossed that when my quotes come through email they won't give me an attack of apoplexy.

2002-07-06T16:57:00.000-04:00

It seems my rudimentary HTMLing skills are improving. I've just stuck a picture of the Powerpuff Girls on the page. Three cheers for me! (And the HTML Tutorial I found on the web...) The Powerpuff Girls are by far my favorite cartoon on TV. They're cute and a ton of fun. Even if their heads (and eyes especially) are abnormally large and they don't seem to have any fingers. That just adds to their charm. Really.

2002-07-04T23:43:00.000-04:00

Tonight I settled down on the couch to watch all the fireworks and concerts that Americans love so much on Independence Day. Isn't it amazing how fireworks are such a part of the United States and our childhoods? In my hometown, the fireworks were set off on a soccer field behind my old elementary school -- within walking distance of my house. When I was really little my family and I would get an old blanket, some cookies and juice and a couple lawn chairs and carry them down to the fields and wait for the fun to begin. As I got older my parents weren't so much a part of the celebration, and instead my friends had taken their place. You know you've been there too -- the town fireworks display and you're sitting there with your friends hoping that kid you've got a crush on will walk by because it's dark and you're sitting in the grass and the sky is exploding in your face and what could possibly be more romantic than for your crush to be there too? Then sometime in high school I discovered Pops Goes the Fourth. I loved it. Keith Lockhart and the Boston Pops came to represent the Fourth of July for me. And then I went to college and was able to see those fireworks firsthand (albeit from the roof of a frat house). I've graduated now, and watching the Pops on TV was like remembering college. The Esplanade and the Charles and the orchestra and most importantly, all those wonderful Bostonians who had been out there since 6 am to get seats near the stage. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that Independence Day has always been a holiday that brings memories of friends and family with it. But now that I'm out of college, it reminds me of my four years in Massachusetts. Home of the Pops and the Charles and that frat house that I saw the fireworks from. It makes me sad to think that I've left college -- that all of that is behind me. I suppose this means that I'm very lucky -- my college years were possibly the four best of my life so far. I loved my college and the people there and my whole experience is something I know I will treasure for the rest of my life.

2002-07-03T23:28:00.000-04:00

First a little bit of frivolous fun: according to Emode if I were a goddess (although who am I to say I'm not...) I'd be a muse. I rather like that and the description seemed to fit. If anyone else out there is a quiz fanatic like me, Emode is like heaven. I highly recommend it. Great procrastination tool too.

I was on my way to Barnes and Noble tonight to drink tea and do some GRE practice problems (I hate standardized tests with an undying passion) when I saw a cloud of fireflies on my front lawn. Do you call them "lightening bugs" or "fireflies"? I used to call them lightening bugs but fireflies sounds better I think. They're much too romantic to be called bugs. In any case, when I saw the cloud of fireflies I was immediately reminded of the opening sequence of A Midsummer Night's Dream with Rupert Everett, Kevin Kline, and Stanley Tucci among others. In that version of Midsummer, the fireflies were really fairies, so my train of thought went on to the next station which happened to be a memory of my trip to Ireland. I took a three day bus tour of southern Ireland during that vacation and somewhere along the way we stopped so that Michael, our tour guide, could point out a "fairy tree." I am still upset that my camera was broken and I didn't get a picture of the fairy tree -- imagine the most perfect little tree possible with a straight narrow trunk and perfectly formed branches and leaves sitting on a little hill in a meadow. It looked so perfect that only something magical could possibly have created it. I suppose it's best that I don't have a picture of it after all since memory and imagination record magical experiences much better than cameras and film. I think the fairy tree is part of the reason I fell in love with the British Isles. The fish and chips could have had some part in that as well though...

2002-07-03T08:25:00.000-04:00

Wow! Amazingly enough, I did a tiny little bit of HTML and it WORKED. I think I should celebrate my newest step towards computer literacy. Pop the cork on the champagne!

2002-07-03T07:55:00.000-04:00

Apparently just typing and posting isn't enough for me. I've got to try a little HTML and see what happens... if anything does happen. Let's see!

2002-07-02T14:53:00.000-04:00

How's this for tragedy -- I just wrote this long involved post, you know, really delving into my psyche and all that. And then my friend sends me a link and I manage to, like an idiot, close my window. It's all gone. It's like being in college when your computer crashes and you lose your essay on the meaning of life. Damn that link-sending friend! Grr.

Anyway, my cross country road trip is off. Unless a person willing to take a week or so off from their life to drive with me magically appears. I guess it's time to start hunting for bargain plane tickets.

Fortunately, I've discovered the joy of reading other people's blogs so the panic attacks that come whenever I think of the Move can be somewhat lessened through distraction. I've just found a person who writes the most interesting things on their blog -- beautifully written. You know how there are some authors who write such gorgeous prose that you have to read everything they've written to soak it all up and revel in the fact that at least one person out there understands the English language so well that they can say things in ways you've never dreamed? That last sentence of mine is a testament to that feeling. I simply can't express myself the way I would like to, but there are some people who have the gift of being able to make something beautiful with words. For instance, take one of my favorite authors: Guy Gavriel Kay. His Fionavar Tapestry Trilogy makes me cry every time I read it. (If you're curious, the first book is The Summer Tree -- but somehow I think that no one really reads my blog except me, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but awkward when I want to recommend books.) There's something about his characters -- they're so real. Each of them has a part of me in them and their fear and grief and happiness transfer so easily from the page into my own heart. Does that sound really weepy and overly... something? It's true though.

2002-07-02T02:22:00.000-04:00

Who knew planning a cross country car trip could be so frustrating? First I had to pick some random cities between New Jersey and southern California which required a little geographical knowledge it seems I don't have. My defense is that geography is no longer a part of the liberal arts curriculum. The important part is that, in the end, I get to California. Which I will. Come hell or high water. Have I mentioned the California Goal yet? Maybe I should introduce it. I have lived in New Jersey all my life. I went to college in Massachusetts. And now I want to move to California. Simple, right? Right. I just need to GET to California and find an apartment and a job. A little daunting. But hey. I just graduated college. Isn't this when I'm supposed to take over the world?

2002-07-01T18:00:00.000-04:00

Spent yesterday down the shore. It was a gorgeous day -- not too hot in the sun -- and I got to wear my new bathing suit. What's not to enjoy, right? Anyway, had a great time and got a little tan without burning. An all around success.

2002-06-29T13:44:00.000-04:00

Wow. If you've never tried yoga go out and do it. It was fabulous. I feel stretched out and wonderful. And hungry, but that's not a side effect of yoga. I will definitely be going back for more.

2002-06-29T10:19:00.000-04:00

I'm about to take my first yoga class in a couple of years. I took an entire semester of it my first year in college for the PE Requirement and it was a lot of fun. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy a class in which the teacher comes in, takes a look at her twenty or so frazzled college students in the middle of midterms and says "Okay girls, why don't you all get out the mats and take a nap while I read from this book on yoga." Of course, the class I'm taking today won't be like that, but as I told my mother the other night, I'm about as flexible as a 70 year old man so I can use all the stretching I can get. I'm looking forward to it. I'll feel nice and relaxed, which is a great way to start a Saturday.